Bitter Roots

from by Aubades

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I wrote this song in summer 2014 all in one go, it occurred completely naturally, and that is not something I have done before or since. The only thing I ever changed was the first line a few days later when I said the exact line out loud in a social situation I wasn't ready for. It is about how crushes are played out and stupid but also super great! The person I wrote it about became one of my best friends and they will probably never know that it is about them!


"Please don't look at me":
this crawled under my breath
at my brain's demands.
Morrissey already
wrote a song called
"I Want the One I Can't Have"
and I can't state it any clearer.
Can I indulge in a faberge feeling?
I wanna get high in your
backyard and not fucking
care about anything,
but I've never got high
and I've never not cared before.

Presumption, like blood
or percussion, flows,
of my futility.
Okkervil River said
"Don't Fall in Love With
Everyone [That] You See",
but I can't see that not happening.
All that I know of you paints a misty picture, but
all that I know of you could
fit into one breath
and I'm not a strong swimmer,
yet I wouldn't so much mind
you pulling me under.

But there are still situations
unique and unwritten-of...
Guess that's what I'm doing this for...

so I'll write hymns to your image
and maybe grow bitter roots...
but I've been uprooted before.


from /oʊˈbɑːdz/, released December 3, 2015



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aubades is rt koeberl and sometimes more and sometimes less

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